Podcast

Vegetarian Epidemic After Fetal Pig Dissection

Cue Music

Charles Beckon

A vegetarian epidemic has recently broke out due to fetal pig dissections in school.  This is Charles Beckon reporting.  This just in, three kids have decided to become vegetarian after seeing the pancreas of a baby pig.  Their decision has devastated lunch ladies who have just prepared terryaki bowls for lunch.  Reporter Melanie Clayton  is on the scene.  How is the new idea settling in?

Melanie Clayton

    Well I’m here at the school and the lunch ladies are in tears.  The three new vegetarians are in meditation trying to get the vision of the pancreas out of their heads.  One of the lunch ladies is willing to talk.  What do you have to say Ms. Hillshire?

Ms. Hillshire

I cannot believe it.  The kids say that they will no longer enjoy meat because of these dissections.  I say this is an outrage and they should be banned from our school.  If this epidemic gets worse no one will eat the meat that we have worked long and hard to take out of the freezer and heat up.

Charles Beckon

The situation sounds difficult.  I’m getting a little teary myself.  Do the kids have any sympathy for the poor lunch ladies?

Melanie Clayton

The kids say that they have no control over the situation.  There hearts are changed and minds are made up. The only sympathy they have is for the pig and his pancreas.

Charles Beckon

Thank you Melanie.  I have just been informed the lunch ladies have gone missing and have taken the food with them.  The police are on the look out.

Cue music

Charles Beckon

I’m Charles Beckon.  Thanks for tuning in to Tragedy News.